The monsoons are finally here and I’m pretty happy. To be honest, I have a love –hate relationship with the monsoons; I hate it when it’s raining heavily and I hate when it’s too dry. But when it’s about to rain, you’ll find me sniffing the air and smiling like a loon. I love the wet, gusty winds that blow as a sort of warning of impending rainfall. It makes everything right in the world, sort of. Thinking of the rain makes me think of umbrellas and all the shenanigans I use it for. Read on to find out more.
1. To protect your head during monsoons and summer
I’m going to get the most bring and most practical usage of umbrellas out of the way. If you live in a place like Mumbai or I suppose anywhere near the southern coast of India, you’re probably going to be using the umbrella all year round. I find rain coats, windcheaters, rain jackets too bulky to carry. To be honest, my bag may be filled with odd bits and pieces but apart from my packed lunch and one slim notebook, anything else if just too bulky. So a small, compact umbrella is just the thing for me. As for using one in the summer, who wants flat and sweaty hair, when you can keep your hair styled and protect it from the sun?
2. As a weapon and a shield
Ever seen the movie ‘Kingsman’? I have and while I don’t particularly like the movie, I do like gadgetry. Take the umbrella for instance, this acts as bulletproof shield and I suppose that its additional weight also makes it easier to hit the bad guys with it. For all the women out there, you know exactly what I’m talking about. How many times have you used an umbrella to ward off any man you consider a possible harassment suspect? And if it’s one of those that shoots out and unfurls, it just makes it better, because now you can defend yourself both at short –range and long –range. I suppose I must also add that it can be used to shield yourself from the water that splashes on you when some reckless driver refuses to slow down where there is a puddle. Whether that happens because I’m just about tall enough to be considered an adult or because I’m a magnet for idiots, I don’t know; but it happens too often for it to not be true.
3. As a walking stick
Here’s where my friends get irritated; I like small umbrellas but I use their big ones when my legs are cramping. Or when I’m pretending to tap dance. Or if I’m just too lazy to walk about unaided. Even if you are not as lazy as I am, the umbrellas can be used when on a hike or a trek. A good sturdy umbrella would protect you from the rain and snow, as well as keep you steady on your feet. This isn’t to say that you don’t use proper walking sticks (you cannot expect to use your umbrella all the time), but on those days when you’ve forgotten some gear, the umbrella will do fine.
4. To fend off dogs
I heart dogs. I heart the monsoon season. I do not heart dogs in the monsoon season. Doggy paw prints on a light coloured background is not my idea of fashionable attire. Neither is the brushing of wet dirt from a wet dog on my clothes. At times when I suspect I’m going to be assaulted by my four –legged friends, my umbrella comes in handy; their feeling are not hurt (they think it’s a game) and my clothes remain clean. For people who are scared of dogs, just brandish your umbrella at them, and they’re sure to leave you alone.
(Photo credits: h.koppdelaney /Foter/CC BY-ND)
5. To hide from someone
Everybody, man or woman, has a certain somebody they will do anything to get out of meeting with. Don’t lie, you’re not that friendly. In these cases, bring that umbrella really low so that the edge covers most of your face. Even if your hair gets entangled with the spokes of the umbrella, just keep that umbrella even yet low. Also, if you want to make sure no one knows you’re out and about, make sure to carry a black umbrella. Most people carry a black umbrella, so you’re bound to confuse anybody should they spot you. Once they’re past you, tilt the umbrella backward to further the confusion. Note that this only works during the monsoons. Any other time and you’re not only going to look stupid but you’re also going to get a bad rep.
6. To flirt with somebody
Watch any Bollywood movie and you will know what I’m talking about. An umbrella will do the same thing as a pallu does. Even better, you have a genuine reason to get close to that girl/guy of your dreams without looking all stalker –like. Just put an arm around the person (casually please, you don’t want to seem too eager) and hold the umbrella high enough for the other person. Make sure the taller person is holding the umbrella, because you don’t want their hair tangling with the spokes. But if you’re using the umbrella to try to cup a feel, be ready to have that same umbrella hit you.
7. To make a style statement
You cannot have an article about an umbrella without this particular point. With the kind of umbrellas we see nowadays, umbrellas are the season’s must –have statement pieces. Umbrellas can make for excellent sartorial choices. Combine different styles and prints with your outfit for the day and turn any outfit around. You’ll be head –turner for sure.
How can we help?
Besides a wide variety of rain wear in our collections, we also understand that there are people who prefer a plain umbrella. However, nothing at Prrems is plain. What we do have is a fabulous collection of solid, sturdy yet completely delightful umbrellas that are sure to please anyone. Choose from manual triple stemmed short rounded handles to those with a single stem hook handle. Colour block your way with umbrellas in shades of wine and olive green or tuck it into your backpack to be stowed away, the umbrellas will suit every occasion and necessity. Who said umbrellas were boring?
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