It’s truly ridiculous the way modern corporates expect you to surrender your soul to the health of their balance sheet.
On a daily basis, there is always that meeting, or that presentation or that con call that eats into the time during which you need to be doing stuff that makes your life worth living.
And when the calendar cooperates to give you weekends prefixed or suffixed by bank holidays that evil syndicate of bosses, team leaders and HR personnel are on their guard to find ridiculous excuses to shoot down any leave applications.
So this is how you play them to your advantage.
1. Plan, plan, plan:
During the first week of the year or even the last week of the year, check out what long weekends the coming year has in store for you.
2. Keep the time of year in mind:
Do some research and figure out where you could go during that particular long weekend. For example, you could plan to go for a quick tiger spotting safari to a national park during the Holi holiday in March which you couldn’t do post-June.
3. Book your tickets and your accommodations:
This is usually the toughest part. You will always think that what if something comes up and I can’t make the trip, I’ll lose my money. But think outside the box. Think that because you have put your money down, you subconsciously will work very hard to make that trip happen. Besides much in advance gives you the best fares for that most convenient late evening flight to your holiday and that perfect early morning flight back from your holiday. This enables you to squeeze in even more holiday time. You also have the best choice of places to stay at the best rates possible.
4. Keep leave application forms handy:
Fill them up and apply for leave as far in advance as possible. Remember that everyone and their tauji will be applying for leave on that tempting Tuesday that lies between bank holiday Monday and Wednesday.
5. Keep it quiet:
Don’t take a megaphone and announce to all and sundry that you’ve played your holiday game well. Keep it quiet and fly to your fun and back under the radar.
6. Be a draamebaaz:
Management may wise up to your game of applying for leave at every long weekend and it is quite within their right and in their interest of keeping everyone happy to turn down your leave requests. Plus you might actually run out of casual leaves. So what you do is become a draamebaaz. For this to work, it is essential that you don’t let anyone at work know that you have already planned a long weekend trip.
So in case you want to avail of that longest ever weekend coming up in August with the 15th of August on Tuesday, Parsi New Year on Thursday, this is how you do it:
On Friday:
Get to the office and act as if you feel like you are going to drop dead. Moan and groan and look miserable. For more effect also fake vomiting into the wastepaper basket. When you’re holding your coffee cup fake a quiver in your hand and spill some coffee on your self and then shriek in pain to elicit feelings of pity and sympathy from co-workers. But, make sure the boss notices all this.
Over the weekend:
Put up some sad and sorrowful tales of miserable health on your social media
On Monday:
Arrive at the office looking as if you have one foot in the grave
On Wednesday and Friday:
Call in sick this will give you from Monday evening to next Monday morning and if you’ve planned it well you could very well have a great holiday in Ladakh.
Remember that travel is an investment in yourself and while you really need to be dedicated to your job because it is what enables you to earn enough to travel, you also need to give yourself a break now and then. And honestly, no workplace is going to cajole you to apply for leave or take a break. It is something that you have to do by yourself for yourself.
